I'm headed to Ecuador next month for the school year! Follow my stories at http://globalcitizenyear.org/author/delia-ross/ and please subscribe. Panama initially gave me this opportunity. I fell in love with Latin America. Now I'm off to see what more change I can do. I am so eager.
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Thursday, July 19, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
time is just a word
Hello. Hi. Hola. Salutations.
I wonder if anyone will read this. Since I've been back I've been bothered many times to update this blog... even though I hadn't published a word since halfway through my exchange. I don't know what to say. When I think back to Panama it feels like a different world in a different life. It feels like a dream in so many ways, but if I close my eyes I can almost feel like I'm there. When I look at pictures, read my journal, or talk to friends it's like I was there yesterday.
Since Panama, I've thought about a lot of things in terms of time. It's been five and half months since I've been back in the States. That's the same amount of time I was in Panama for. In one month it'll be a year since we landed at Tocumen airport. One of my best friends leaves for Korea for a year in three and a half weeks. On Friday, I'll be halfway done with my senior year of high school. Every day Panama gets farther away.
This fall was one full of learning. What does reverse culture shock even mean? You can't put words onto those feelings. Being taken out of an environment where you've fallen in love with life and are finally comfortable and content and thrown back into a life where you don't feel like you belong anymore is the hardest thing in the world. You've changed more than anyone realizes, even yourself, and you're expected to fit into the mold that you left behind, five and a half months before. You don't know where you fit because that puzzle piece you were before has changed it's shape into something new and there's no spot for you in the puzzle. Everything is fake, and people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything else. I struggled a lot being in school everyday--trapped in a building for 7 hours every day, 5 days a week--under the constant control of teachers and parents, surrounded by judgmental teenagers. There were days I wanted to run away. I wondered how on earth I would make it until June.
Slowly, my attitude changed (it was the only way). I spent time with people different than those I would have found myself with before. I learned to accept that Panama is something of the past, and that I'm in charge of my own state of being. If I want to be happy, that's up to me and totally in my control. On New Years Eve, I wrote: "A part of me is scared to leave 2011 behind--that's where Panama is and if I let that go, what will become? That's what I get to see, because if I try to live in the past I won't be able to enjoy the present or look forward to the future. I'm gonna keep marching forward, everything that happens along the way making me stronger." In November I was accepted Early Decision to a school I dreamed of going to since my sophomore year. I'm also applying to several gap year programs, with the idea of deferring from college for a year to volunteer abroad. That prospect along with college (Warren Wilson College, look it up! Such a cool place) makes me so excited for the next steps of my life.
These past five and a half months have been like a second exchange. Having to adjust to yet another culture, dealing with incredible emotions, and of course learning about myself. And you know what? So what if Panama keeps getting farther away. It's still there. It'll always be there. Maybe it'll never be the same if I go back, but that's okay. My panamanian friends and family will always be a part of me and the memories especially. Those can can never ever be thrown away, not after one year, five years, or a hundred million years. Time is just a word and it can't take away those things that were felt.
I'm a lot more confident than I was a year ago. I care a lot less about things like what people think of me and my appearance. I know who I am better than I used to (though I'm definitely still figuring it out). My mind and eyes have been opened up wide. In addition, I treasure the things in my life and try really hard not to take things for granted more so than I did before. My friends and family mean a lot to me--they're the ones who keep me going through the hard times and laughing along the way. You guys truly mean the world to me and no matter where life brings me, I don't ever wanna lose you.
My first months back, as you can tell, were a struggle. I've been a lot more comfortable lately and although I can't wait to graduate in June, I know there will be things that will be extremely difficult to say goodbye to. Life's a journey, and I'm trying my best to take it one day at a time. I do my best to be positive and reasonable and levelheaded about everyday situations. I try to find the beauty in every day and not take anything too seriously. People ask me if I have regrets--with zero hesitations: no. I do wish I had stayed for a year, but then again if I had I wouldn't likely have gotten to know some of the great people I've gotten to know since I've been back.
No regrets. Momento por momento.
I wonder if anyone will read this. Since I've been back I've been bothered many times to update this blog... even though I hadn't published a word since halfway through my exchange. I don't know what to say. When I think back to Panama it feels like a different world in a different life. It feels like a dream in so many ways, but if I close my eyes I can almost feel like I'm there. When I look at pictures, read my journal, or talk to friends it's like I was there yesterday.
Since Panama, I've thought about a lot of things in terms of time. It's been five and half months since I've been back in the States. That's the same amount of time I was in Panama for. In one month it'll be a year since we landed at Tocumen airport. One of my best friends leaves for Korea for a year in three and a half weeks. On Friday, I'll be halfway done with my senior year of high school. Every day Panama gets farther away.
This fall was one full of learning. What does reverse culture shock even mean? You can't put words onto those feelings. Being taken out of an environment where you've fallen in love with life and are finally comfortable and content and thrown back into a life where you don't feel like you belong anymore is the hardest thing in the world. You've changed more than anyone realizes, even yourself, and you're expected to fit into the mold that you left behind, five and a half months before. You don't know where you fit because that puzzle piece you were before has changed it's shape into something new and there's no spot for you in the puzzle. Everything is fake, and people are too wrapped up in themselves to notice anything else. I struggled a lot being in school everyday--trapped in a building for 7 hours every day, 5 days a week--under the constant control of teachers and parents, surrounded by judgmental teenagers. There were days I wanted to run away. I wondered how on earth I would make it until June.
Slowly, my attitude changed (it was the only way). I spent time with people different than those I would have found myself with before. I learned to accept that Panama is something of the past, and that I'm in charge of my own state of being. If I want to be happy, that's up to me and totally in my control. On New Years Eve, I wrote: "A part of me is scared to leave 2011 behind--that's where Panama is and if I let that go, what will become? That's what I get to see, because if I try to live in the past I won't be able to enjoy the present or look forward to the future. I'm gonna keep marching forward, everything that happens along the way making me stronger." In November I was accepted Early Decision to a school I dreamed of going to since my sophomore year. I'm also applying to several gap year programs, with the idea of deferring from college for a year to volunteer abroad. That prospect along with college (Warren Wilson College, look it up! Such a cool place) makes me so excited for the next steps of my life.
These past five and a half months have been like a second exchange. Having to adjust to yet another culture, dealing with incredible emotions, and of course learning about myself. And you know what? So what if Panama keeps getting farther away. It's still there. It'll always be there. Maybe it'll never be the same if I go back, but that's okay. My panamanian friends and family will always be a part of me and the memories especially. Those can can never ever be thrown away, not after one year, five years, or a hundred million years. Time is just a word and it can't take away those things that were felt.
I'm a lot more confident than I was a year ago. I care a lot less about things like what people think of me and my appearance. I know who I am better than I used to (though I'm definitely still figuring it out). My mind and eyes have been opened up wide. In addition, I treasure the things in my life and try really hard not to take things for granted more so than I did before. My friends and family mean a lot to me--they're the ones who keep me going through the hard times and laughing along the way. You guys truly mean the world to me and no matter where life brings me, I don't ever wanna lose you.
My first months back, as you can tell, were a struggle. I've been a lot more comfortable lately and although I can't wait to graduate in June, I know there will be things that will be extremely difficult to say goodbye to. Life's a journey, and I'm trying my best to take it one day at a time. I do my best to be positive and reasonable and levelheaded about everyday situations. I try to find the beauty in every day and not take anything too seriously. People ask me if I have regrets--with zero hesitations: no. I do wish I had stayed for a year, but then again if I had I wouldn't likely have gotten to know some of the great people I've gotten to know since I've been back.
No regrets. Momento por momento.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
still alive
Hey world!
I'm sorry for having been so not on top of this. After awhile, you kinda just wanna live the experience, not be bothered by writing about it. Plus, there's the fact that Internet isn't super accessable around here. But enough with excuses, let me fill you in on my life these days!
Travels first: April was a busy month of traveling. The first week of April was the one month AFS orientation for all the students who arrived at the end of February/beginning of March. There were 26 of us from the US, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Japan, and Thailand and we stayed in lovely little cabañas by the ocean for 3 days. It was filled with lots of socializing, swimming, laughing, and being told many rules and getting advice.
All the students at Gorgona
About a week and a half later, April 18th, I got to see all the AFSers again, this time to get our visas in Panama City. It was exciting to finally recieve our visas, as we had paid for them weeks earlier when we first arrived in Panamá at the arrival orientation. And now that we had our visas, it meant we could travel on our own (without our host families or AFS) which is exciting.
That same week, there was no school thursday and friday in celebration of Semana Santa (holy week) so I went back to Panama City, this time for 4 days to stay with Jesthy's family (remember Jesthy? My host niece who's my age and speaks some English). It was a fun filled 4 days with seeing the City--the Canal, Panamá Viejo, the Causeway, big parks, huge shopping malls, and even some Semana Santa festivities.
Me and Jesthy
Me pushing over the city!
The next trip was my favorite yet (although they've ALL been just a blast!). From May 1-4th was an AFS trip to Kuna Yala, an area of Panamá inhabited by the Kuna indians. We spent the 1st night in the City, then headed out bright and early on the 2nd (at 4am...) in a diablo rojo (old school bus). Before we got too far outside of the City, we changed modes of transportation--4 wheel drive cars to be exact. That leg of the trip was about 2 hours if I remember correctly, and we rode on thin, windy roads through the mountains, so basically it was STEEP up and downs and sudden turns--like a rollercoaster except it seemed to last forever. But finally, forever ended and we got out of the cars to see...water! The next leg of the trip was in long wooden boats.
We had to put all our luggage in big plastic trash bags and they got loaded into their own boats, and we climbed aboard several other boats. Then off we went, into the wild blue yonder! The boat ride was at least 40 or 50 minutes, gliding through the crystal clear water of the Carribean Sea, passing dozens and dozens of islands (there's almost 400 islands in the whole archipeligo). Eventually, we arrived at the island we would stay on, Ukuptupu. Our ¨hotel¨ was huts sitting on top of the ocean.
The place was literally so beautiful, it was really like nothing I'd ever imagined. The water was so incredibly clear, all I wanted to do was jump in, but we couldn't go swimming at our island because the toilets flushed straight into the ocean...so after lunch we got boated off to another island for swimming. That island was truly paradise: small in size, palm trees, white sand, blue water.
Paradise
The swimming was perfect (but quite salty), we stayed in the water most of the afternoon. The next day, we went to yet another island for more swimming, just as beautiful (although this times we were sure to apply sunscreen very liberally...everyone was terribly burnt from the day before). In the afternoon we went to an island that had a little village on it. First we walked around the island until we got to a big open area where some of the Kuna's danced for us in their traditional clothes, it was very cool!
Dancers
After the dancing, they let the girls try on the traditional Mola dress (mola is a really cool textile the the Kuna women make)!
Me in a mola dress
Then we got to wander around the island on our own to buy mola's and other things they villagers were selling. The next day we had to head back to mainland after breakfast, but on the boat ride a bunch of dolphins swam right next to our boat!
It was so magical. The whole trip was, really. I feel unbelievably lucky for have been able to have gone to such a place.
So that's all the traveling I've done so far, but there's supposed to be at least 2 or 3 more AFS trips before I leave and Julia (I'll write about her in a sec) and I are hoping to do some traveling on our own soon.
Day to day life is, more or less, going very well. Some days go really slow while other times weeks fly by. I hang out with my friend from Austria, Julia, a lot (she lives in Aguadulce, a 10 minute bus ride from here). We understand each other well and always manage to have a fun time together. I have other friends living nearby who I hang out with many evenings and some afternoons I get together with school friends. Saturday mornings I go to the music school for free clarinet lessons. Spanish is becoming easier and easier all the time. The other day at school, one of my classmates told me, ¨when you first got here, you had to look up everything in the dictionary and you talked in one word sentences. Now, you talk just like Sara!¨ (Sara's an exchange student who's been here for 9 months...don't think I'm quite at her level yet, but hey, I'll take the compliment! It felt good.) The school's 1st trimister ends soon, with final exams from the 25th-June 2nd and vacation until June 13th. Kinda weird that as soon as the school year at East ends I'll have to go back to school...it's gonna be really hard! But in well under 3 months I'll have to say bye to everything here and I'll be headed back to the states. In fact tomorrow is the exact halfway point in this whole trip...crazy. Time has proved to be such a strange concept lately.
Some days I really long for home (there's a lot that I miss--the people, the food, school that I understand, and just the comfort of home) but the next day I look back and ask myself, what was I thinking?! I'm in PANAMA! I'm learning so so much about everything...myself, people, culture, and the world.
It's the adventure of a lifetime :).
PS: I've recieved a few letters in the mail and they just MAKE MY DAY!! If you don't have my address and feel like sending me a simple letter, please ask me for it! And if you do have my address, send me something :) I'll write ya back!
I'm sorry for having been so not on top of this. After awhile, you kinda just wanna live the experience, not be bothered by writing about it. Plus, there's the fact that Internet isn't super accessable around here. But enough with excuses, let me fill you in on my life these days!
Travels first: April was a busy month of traveling. The first week of April was the one month AFS orientation for all the students who arrived at the end of February/beginning of March. There were 26 of us from the US, New Zealand, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Japan, and Thailand and we stayed in lovely little cabañas by the ocean for 3 days. It was filled with lots of socializing, swimming, laughing, and being told many rules and getting advice.
About a week and a half later, April 18th, I got to see all the AFSers again, this time to get our visas in Panama City. It was exciting to finally recieve our visas, as we had paid for them weeks earlier when we first arrived in Panamá at the arrival orientation. And now that we had our visas, it meant we could travel on our own (without our host families or AFS) which is exciting.
That same week, there was no school thursday and friday in celebration of Semana Santa (holy week) so I went back to Panama City, this time for 4 days to stay with Jesthy's family (remember Jesthy? My host niece who's my age and speaks some English). It was a fun filled 4 days with seeing the City--the Canal, Panamá Viejo, the Causeway, big parks, huge shopping malls, and even some Semana Santa festivities.
The next trip was my favorite yet (although they've ALL been just a blast!). From May 1-4th was an AFS trip to Kuna Yala, an area of Panamá inhabited by the Kuna indians. We spent the 1st night in the City, then headed out bright and early on the 2nd (at 4am...) in a diablo rojo (old school bus). Before we got too far outside of the City, we changed modes of transportation--4 wheel drive cars to be exact. That leg of the trip was about 2 hours if I remember correctly, and we rode on thin, windy roads through the mountains, so basically it was STEEP up and downs and sudden turns--like a rollercoaster except it seemed to last forever. But finally, forever ended and we got out of the cars to see...water! The next leg of the trip was in long wooden boats.
The swimming was perfect (but quite salty), we stayed in the water most of the afternoon. The next day, we went to yet another island for more swimming, just as beautiful (although this times we were sure to apply sunscreen very liberally...everyone was terribly burnt from the day before). In the afternoon we went to an island that had a little village on it. First we walked around the island until we got to a big open area where some of the Kuna's danced for us in their traditional clothes, it was very cool!
After the dancing, they let the girls try on the traditional Mola dress (mola is a really cool textile the the Kuna women make)!
Then we got to wander around the island on our own to buy mola's and other things they villagers were selling. The next day we had to head back to mainland after breakfast, but on the boat ride a bunch of dolphins swam right next to our boat!
So that's all the traveling I've done so far, but there's supposed to be at least 2 or 3 more AFS trips before I leave and Julia (I'll write about her in a sec) and I are hoping to do some traveling on our own soon.
Day to day life is, more or less, going very well. Some days go really slow while other times weeks fly by. I hang out with my friend from Austria, Julia, a lot (she lives in Aguadulce, a 10 minute bus ride from here). We understand each other well and always manage to have a fun time together. I have other friends living nearby who I hang out with many evenings and some afternoons I get together with school friends. Saturday mornings I go to the music school for free clarinet lessons. Spanish is becoming easier and easier all the time. The other day at school, one of my classmates told me, ¨when you first got here, you had to look up everything in the dictionary and you talked in one word sentences. Now, you talk just like Sara!¨ (Sara's an exchange student who's been here for 9 months...don't think I'm quite at her level yet, but hey, I'll take the compliment! It felt good.) The school's 1st trimister ends soon, with final exams from the 25th-June 2nd and vacation until June 13th. Kinda weird that as soon as the school year at East ends I'll have to go back to school...it's gonna be really hard! But in well under 3 months I'll have to say bye to everything here and I'll be headed back to the states. In fact tomorrow is the exact halfway point in this whole trip...crazy. Time has proved to be such a strange concept lately.
Some days I really long for home (there's a lot that I miss--the people, the food, school that I understand, and just the comfort of home) but the next day I look back and ask myself, what was I thinking?! I'm in PANAMA! I'm learning so so much about everything...myself, people, culture, and the world.
It's the adventure of a lifetime :).
PS: I've recieved a few letters in the mail and they just MAKE MY DAY!! If you don't have my address and feel like sending me a simple letter, please ask me for it! And if you do have my address, send me something :) I'll write ya back!
Friday, April 1, 2011
here i am
Today marks five weeks since I arrived in Natà--I never thought time could fly quite so fast! I feel like I am adjusting very well to everything, I feel more comfortable and confident in this environment everyday.
Let me start with school: so as I said in my last post, school goes from 7-12:35. I stay with the same group of 29 kids (only 7 guys!) for all of our 8 classes--each class is 40 minutes long and after 4 classes is 15 minutes of "recreo" or recess. Each day of the week we have a different schedule of classes, the different classes I have throughout the week consist of Panamà geography, Panamà relations, civics, philosophy, Spanish, English, biology, chemistry, physics, math, and gym. Math I have every day of the week, but gym only once a week (but it lasts for two periods), so it really varies how often each class occurs. If you know me, you probably know how much I disliked and struggled with chemistry and physics when I had to take them at East, so naturally I'm not happy that I have both of them in my schudule here, and since they're taught in another language they make even less sense! The one thing that keeps me from totally hating those two classes is the fact that they are my only classes (besides English class) that has air conditioning :P. If a teacher doesn't show up to teach a class, we have that period as "libre", and students spend the time studying or socializing (no substitute teachers here!). English class is interesting, the teacher has poor English skills and I get a lot more attention than he does in that class. Currently we are working on "greeting and good-byes", good times. All my other classes I have a hard time understanding--most classes consist of either copying notes from the board, listening to the teacher talk, or taking a test. When it's test taking time, I generally "try", but I really don't understand much at all. My teachers understand and don't push it. I love the kids in my class a lot, they are all very friendly and warm and they often invite me to do things with them in the afternoon. And of course they help me understand what is going on in school and they are helping my Spanish improve immensly. There is one other AFS student at my school from Germany, Sara, and she has been here since August, and she too is very friendly to me. Since she knows English (those Germans are so educated) she translates for me when necessary, but she's had to less and less lately. Students don't really call teachers by name, usually it's just "profe". My class is in the "secto año" which is the oldest grade in escuela secundaria (equivilent to 12th grade). There is a morning session and and afternoon session of school, I am obviously in the morning session. Apparently there are almost 1200 students total at CMPA, I'm not sure how it's split up between morning and afternoon but I'm guessing fairly 1/2 and 1/2. I find myself daydreaming a lot during my classes...when I "wake up" it feels so weird to be in a classroom in Panamà :P. I take a "colegial" to and from school everyday--like a small school bus. One last thing about school: there is no passing time between classes, the next class just starts whenever most of the students get to the classroom.
Alright, other things. So this is a random list of everything, please excuse my poor English and organization: animals that can be found running around everywhere include dogs, iguanas, chickens, etc. There are all sorts of fruit trees around the neighborhood. My favorite so far are the mango trees--fresh mangoes every day are the BEST!!! Panamanian lifestyle is very laid back--people are never on time for anything, and people drop by our house all the time without warning. I feel my Spanish improving rapidly, I still have a long way to go but I think I've come a long way from when I got here. Another thing about Panamanians is they like everything to be very clean--I have to shower twice a day, wash my clothes (hand wash!) once a week, and my house is swept out several times a day. The funny thing is, although everything needs to be clean, Panamananians litter like none other. I don't think recycling even exists here, it's crazy. As far as I can tell, people burn large amounts of garbage...so small controlled fires can be found randomly. Occasionaly I get small bursts of homesickness, but it generally passes quickly. It's in the 80's and 90's everyday here, so let me just say that I sweat like CRAZY and consume a lot of water! Rainy season is supposed to start soon (in April) and apparently it will rain every day for the rest of the time that I am here. April will also bring: an AFS orientation at the beach (I'm so excited!!!) and traveling with my family for semana santa (easter). I think we are going south of here to see some traditional dancing, I'm really excited to travel!
Sometimes it feels like I'm not really here, like it's all a dream, and any minute I'll wake up. But at the same time, Madison feels so far away. Here is what my schedule generally looks like on school days:
5am- wake up, shower, dress, eat breakfast
6am- colegial picks me up
7am- school starts
12:45pm- colegial takes me home
1pm- get home, change, eat lunch
1:30/2pm- I generally spend the afternoon doing a variety of the following: take my self for a run, go for a walk, hang out with friends, do my homework, clean the house, do laundry, watch tv, go to the internet cafe, help out my host parents, etc.
6pm- eat dinner, watch tv with my parents, and at 7:30 or 8, I head off to bed!
Alright. I think that's a pretty legit update for now. If you're my friend on facebook, you can see all my pictures, but here are some. From top to bottom: my house, some of my little nieces and nephews, me at the river, a colegial (school bus), the church in Natà (oldest in NA), me and friends at the top of the steeple, my host parents (didnt mean to post that twice), and classmates at school.
Thanks so much for reading!
-Delia
Let me start with school: so as I said in my last post, school goes from 7-12:35. I stay with the same group of 29 kids (only 7 guys!) for all of our 8 classes--each class is 40 minutes long and after 4 classes is 15 minutes of "recreo" or recess. Each day of the week we have a different schedule of classes, the different classes I have throughout the week consist of Panamà geography, Panamà relations, civics, philosophy, Spanish, English, biology, chemistry, physics, math, and gym. Math I have every day of the week, but gym only once a week (but it lasts for two periods), so it really varies how often each class occurs. If you know me, you probably know how much I disliked and struggled with chemistry and physics when I had to take them at East, so naturally I'm not happy that I have both of them in my schudule here, and since they're taught in another language they make even less sense! The one thing that keeps me from totally hating those two classes is the fact that they are my only classes (besides English class) that has air conditioning :P. If a teacher doesn't show up to teach a class, we have that period as "libre", and students spend the time studying or socializing (no substitute teachers here!). English class is interesting, the teacher has poor English skills and I get a lot more attention than he does in that class. Currently we are working on "greeting and good-byes", good times. All my other classes I have a hard time understanding--most classes consist of either copying notes from the board, listening to the teacher talk, or taking a test. When it's test taking time, I generally "try", but I really don't understand much at all. My teachers understand and don't push it. I love the kids in my class a lot, they are all very friendly and warm and they often invite me to do things with them in the afternoon. And of course they help me understand what is going on in school and they are helping my Spanish improve immensly. There is one other AFS student at my school from Germany, Sara, and she has been here since August, and she too is very friendly to me. Since she knows English (those Germans are so educated) she translates for me when necessary, but she's had to less and less lately. Students don't really call teachers by name, usually it's just "profe". My class is in the "secto año" which is the oldest grade in escuela secundaria (equivilent to 12th grade). There is a morning session and and afternoon session of school, I am obviously in the morning session. Apparently there are almost 1200 students total at CMPA, I'm not sure how it's split up between morning and afternoon but I'm guessing fairly 1/2 and 1/2. I find myself daydreaming a lot during my classes...when I "wake up" it feels so weird to be in a classroom in Panamà :P. I take a "colegial" to and from school everyday--like a small school bus. One last thing about school: there is no passing time between classes, the next class just starts whenever most of the students get to the classroom.
Alright, other things. So this is a random list of everything, please excuse my poor English and organization: animals that can be found running around everywhere include dogs, iguanas, chickens, etc. There are all sorts of fruit trees around the neighborhood. My favorite so far are the mango trees--fresh mangoes every day are the BEST!!! Panamanian lifestyle is very laid back--people are never on time for anything, and people drop by our house all the time without warning. I feel my Spanish improving rapidly, I still have a long way to go but I think I've come a long way from when I got here. Another thing about Panamanians is they like everything to be very clean--I have to shower twice a day, wash my clothes (hand wash!) once a week, and my house is swept out several times a day. The funny thing is, although everything needs to be clean, Panamananians litter like none other. I don't think recycling even exists here, it's crazy. As far as I can tell, people burn large amounts of garbage...so small controlled fires can be found randomly. Occasionaly I get small bursts of homesickness, but it generally passes quickly. It's in the 80's and 90's everyday here, so let me just say that I sweat like CRAZY and consume a lot of water! Rainy season is supposed to start soon (in April) and apparently it will rain every day for the rest of the time that I am here. April will also bring: an AFS orientation at the beach (I'm so excited!!!) and traveling with my family for semana santa (easter). I think we are going south of here to see some traditional dancing, I'm really excited to travel!
Sometimes it feels like I'm not really here, like it's all a dream, and any minute I'll wake up. But at the same time, Madison feels so far away. Here is what my schedule generally looks like on school days:
5am- wake up, shower, dress, eat breakfast
6am- colegial picks me up
7am- school starts
12:45pm- colegial takes me home
1pm- get home, change, eat lunch
1:30/2pm- I generally spend the afternoon doing a variety of the following: take my self for a run, go for a walk, hang out with friends, do my homework, clean the house, do laundry, watch tv, go to the internet cafe, help out my host parents, etc.
6pm- eat dinner, watch tv with my parents, and at 7:30 or 8, I head off to bed!
Alright. I think that's a pretty legit update for now. If you're my friend on facebook, you can see all my pictures, but here are some. From top to bottom: my house, some of my little nieces and nephews, me at the river, a colegial (school bus), the church in Natà (oldest in NA), me and friends at the top of the steeple, my host parents (didnt mean to post that twice), and classmates at school.
Thanks so much for reading!
-Delia
Thursday, March 10, 2011
better late than never
Greeting from a very HOT Natà! I realize that I haven`t blogged in about 2 weeks and I am soooo sorry. The reason for that would be lack of computer access--I really haven`t been able to get on a computer much since I left the US, and when I have I had to get on and off quickly, no time for a lengthy blog post! I am writing from an internet cafe in Natà, I don`t know how often I will be able to come here so I want to apologize in advance for 1) taking forever to get back to people and 2) not blogging very frequently. I hope everyone understands! I have been journaling frequently though so I am keeping a good record of my time here and adjusting etc.
Anyway! Where on earth should I start! I literally have so much to say. Traveling went good. In orientation in Miami we went over general rules, safety, and met other kids. I`m not going to go into a ton of detail about orientations because I have so much else to say and this would be a mile long if I wrote about every detail. But in Miami there were 40 kids from all over the country headed to Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Honduras, and Panama. Five people going to Panama (three from wisconsin!). I would have to say that all five of us really clicked and got along well. After spending one night in Miami we flew to Panama and got met by an AFS person in Panama City. We spent one night at a hotel in Panama City and took care of immigration stuff (visas etc) and they went over more specific rules and answered questions. Then the next day we got bussed off to our host communities!
This is the 5 americans going to Panama
The bus ride from Panama City to Natà was about 3 hours, and when I got off at my stop it was about 7pm and there was a large crowd of people there to greet me! One of them was wearing an AFS shirt so I knew I was in the right place. They drove me to my house where even more people were. I was exhausted already, but I managed to make it through the first night excitement. It was quite overwhelming with all the Spanish. On of my nieces who was there it turned out spoke some English so that was a relief. Her name is Jesthy and it turns out she is 2 days younger than me but she lives in Panama City so she wouldn`t always be tere. Everyone greeting my were so friendly, giving my lots of hugs and kisses and introducing themselves. Once I got inside, there was a cake that said WELCOME DELIA on it, which was so sweet! They showed my my room, which is small but very sweet. On my bedside table was a framed picture of my family back in the US that I had included in my application! It made me so happy. That night we had some of my cake, we tried to converse, and I eventually figured out how to call my family back to home to tell them that I had arrived. It was all very emotional and overwhelming, but I`m glad I made it safe.
The next day I went with Jesthy and one of my AFS liasons into Aguadulce, which is a slightly larger town 15 minutes away from Natà to buy my school uniform. We had to get: white shirts, long dark blue skirts, dark blue socks, and a little tie type thing. Also with my uniform, I wear black dress shoes. My first few days were so hot, but the 4th day it poured all day and ofter that the humidity went away for the most part and it was just hot. I stopped sweating a ton. Now it`s humid again, though!
So my first monday there (Feb 28th?) I started school! Jesthy and her family had gone back to Panama City by then so I had no one to speak English to and that made me nervous, so started school made me even more nervous. On monday my other AFS liason, Elvia (who also turns out to be my aunt) took me to school but since it was the first day of school (first day of the school year in Panama! Their school year runs from end of February to December) there were just speeches outside all day, or at least thats what it looked like, so Elvia took me home after like an hour. I didn`t really know why, Im guessing because I didnt need to be there for the speeches. On tuesday I did go to school though and it went well. I have to wake up at 5am though for school, the bus comes at 6 and school goes from 7-12:30. Everyone at school was very nice despite me sucking at spanish. I went to school tues, weds, and thurs, and then fri there was no school because of Carnaval!
Carnaval is a huge 4 day party in Panama. There was no school mon, tues, and weds the next week either because of carnaval. It was a crazy sight. I have to go now, I told my mom I would be home now. Hopefully I can come back to the internet cafe tomorrow to update more. I still have so much to say!
Carnaval in Panama
I also want to apologize to anyone who`s messaged me or anything recently. I still haven`t had the chance to reply! It`s so hard to find time for everything. I hope you understand, I have definitely read your messages and I well reply as soon as I can. Everyone should know that I am adjusting very well here and am enjoying myself greatly! Hopefully I can update soon.
Ciao,
Delia
Anyway! Where on earth should I start! I literally have so much to say. Traveling went good. In orientation in Miami we went over general rules, safety, and met other kids. I`m not going to go into a ton of detail about orientations because I have so much else to say and this would be a mile long if I wrote about every detail. But in Miami there were 40 kids from all over the country headed to Brazil, Argentina, Chile, Honduras, and Panama. Five people going to Panama (three from wisconsin!). I would have to say that all five of us really clicked and got along well. After spending one night in Miami we flew to Panama and got met by an AFS person in Panama City. We spent one night at a hotel in Panama City and took care of immigration stuff (visas etc) and they went over more specific rules and answered questions. Then the next day we got bussed off to our host communities!
The bus ride from Panama City to Natà was about 3 hours, and when I got off at my stop it was about 7pm and there was a large crowd of people there to greet me! One of them was wearing an AFS shirt so I knew I was in the right place. They drove me to my house where even more people were. I was exhausted already, but I managed to make it through the first night excitement. It was quite overwhelming with all the Spanish. On of my nieces who was there it turned out spoke some English so that was a relief. Her name is Jesthy and it turns out she is 2 days younger than me but she lives in Panama City so she wouldn`t always be tere. Everyone greeting my were so friendly, giving my lots of hugs and kisses and introducing themselves. Once I got inside, there was a cake that said WELCOME DELIA on it, which was so sweet! They showed my my room, which is small but very sweet. On my bedside table was a framed picture of my family back in the US that I had included in my application! It made me so happy. That night we had some of my cake, we tried to converse, and I eventually figured out how to call my family back to home to tell them that I had arrived. It was all very emotional and overwhelming, but I`m glad I made it safe.
The next day I went with Jesthy and one of my AFS liasons into Aguadulce, which is a slightly larger town 15 minutes away from Natà to buy my school uniform. We had to get: white shirts, long dark blue skirts, dark blue socks, and a little tie type thing. Also with my uniform, I wear black dress shoes. My first few days were so hot, but the 4th day it poured all day and ofter that the humidity went away for the most part and it was just hot. I stopped sweating a ton. Now it`s humid again, though!
So my first monday there (Feb 28th?) I started school! Jesthy and her family had gone back to Panama City by then so I had no one to speak English to and that made me nervous, so started school made me even more nervous. On monday my other AFS liason, Elvia (who also turns out to be my aunt) took me to school but since it was the first day of school (first day of the school year in Panama! Their school year runs from end of February to December) there were just speeches outside all day, or at least thats what it looked like, so Elvia took me home after like an hour. I didn`t really know why, Im guessing because I didnt need to be there for the speeches. On tuesday I did go to school though and it went well. I have to wake up at 5am though for school, the bus comes at 6 and school goes from 7-12:30. Everyone at school was very nice despite me sucking at spanish. I went to school tues, weds, and thurs, and then fri there was no school because of Carnaval!
Carnaval is a huge 4 day party in Panama. There was no school mon, tues, and weds the next week either because of carnaval. It was a crazy sight. I have to go now, I told my mom I would be home now. Hopefully I can come back to the internet cafe tomorrow to update more. I still have so much to say!
I also want to apologize to anyone who`s messaged me or anything recently. I still haven`t had the chance to reply! It`s so hard to find time for everything. I hope you understand, I have definitely read your messages and I well reply as soon as I can. Everyone should know that I am adjusting very well here and am enjoying myself greatly! Hopefully I can update soon.
Ciao,
Delia
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
let the departure begin
Tomorrow. I leave for Miami at 6am tomorrow. Wow. That idea stirs up a lot of emotions.....I definitely don't have words to describe how I feel right now. I've been looking forward to tomorrow for at least a year, and now it's just about here. Sometimes I ask myself WHY THE HECK DID I WANT TO DO THIS?????!!!!? But then I have to assure that part of me that everything will be okay and it will be the best experience of my life.
This past week has been crazy, not just preparing for everything, but maybe you've heard about what's going on in Madison and Wisconsin lately. Basically, our new republican governor has proposed a bill to try to fix the deficit our state is in, but the bill includes taking away collective bargaining rights from all state workers which has caused A LOT OF UPROAR to say the least. Since it affects (effects?) all the teachers at my school and in the district teachers went to the Capitol to protest. Therefore teachers weren't at school. Therefore there was no school....for four days! I spent everyday at the Capitol protesting (I even slept over one night!) and the rest of my time packing. Last Tuesday when school was still in session, there was a student organized walk out and march to the Capitol- 800 kids from my high school marched down the one of the biggest streets in the city to the Capitol. IT WAS EPIC. And then the day the vote on the bill was supposed to happen the senate democrats left the state because Gov. Walker hasn't been willing to negotiate on the bill at all, and they say they're not going to return until he's willing to negotiate. There's been tens of thousands of protesters in downtown Madison this week. I'M REALLY PROUD TO SAY THAT I WAS ONE OF THEM. This past week has been really powerful, not to mention incredible. But anyway, this blog is supposed to be about me going to Panama not politics.....
....so let's get back on track. Packing has been exciting, kinda stressful, nervewrecking, not to mention a whole lot more. I can't believe I'm actually leaving tomorrow. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. My friends held a good-bye party for me Saturday night which was really sweet. But sad. I've been crying a lot lately and it's only going to get worse tonight and tomorrow when I say bye to my friends and family. Today was the first day back at school since the unplanned break, so it was just my chance to say bye to my teachers and my school buddies.
I'll be in Miami tomorrow afternoon for the gateway orientation. Thursday afternoon me and everyone else going to Panama head off to Panama City for a orientation that lasts through Sunday morning. I'm excited to meet a lot of new people in the coming week(s).
I could write forever but I really have to go pack pack pack some more. And shower and say bye to my friends and eat dinner and go to sleep...considering I have to wake up at 4am, YUCK! But thanks for reading, I will try to update AS MUCH AS I CAN. Please pass this link on to other who might be interested. I don't know what internet access will be like, but we will see.
THANKS FOR READING WISH ME LUCK ON THIS CRAAAAZZZY ADVENTURE I'M ABOUT TO JUMP INTO!!!!!!!
-Delia
This past week has been crazy, not just preparing for everything, but maybe you've heard about what's going on in Madison and Wisconsin lately. Basically, our new republican governor has proposed a bill to try to fix the deficit our state is in, but the bill includes taking away collective bargaining rights from all state workers which has caused A LOT OF UPROAR to say the least. Since it affects (effects?) all the teachers at my school and in the district teachers went to the Capitol to protest. Therefore teachers weren't at school. Therefore there was no school....for four days! I spent everyday at the Capitol protesting (I even slept over one night!) and the rest of my time packing. Last Tuesday when school was still in session, there was a student organized walk out and march to the Capitol- 800 kids from my high school marched down the one of the biggest streets in the city to the Capitol. IT WAS EPIC. And then the day the vote on the bill was supposed to happen the senate democrats left the state because Gov. Walker hasn't been willing to negotiate on the bill at all, and they say they're not going to return until he's willing to negotiate. There's been tens of thousands of protesters in downtown Madison this week. I'M REALLY PROUD TO SAY THAT I WAS ONE OF THEM. This past week has been really powerful, not to mention incredible. But anyway, this blog is supposed to be about me going to Panama not politics.....
....so let's get back on track. Packing has been exciting, kinda stressful, nervewrecking, not to mention a whole lot more. I can't believe I'm actually leaving tomorrow. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. My friends held a good-bye party for me Saturday night which was really sweet. But sad. I've been crying a lot lately and it's only going to get worse tonight and tomorrow when I say bye to my friends and family. Today was the first day back at school since the unplanned break, so it was just my chance to say bye to my teachers and my school buddies.
I'll be in Miami tomorrow afternoon for the gateway orientation. Thursday afternoon me and everyone else going to Panama head off to Panama City for a orientation that lasts through Sunday morning. I'm excited to meet a lot of new people in the coming week(s).
I could write forever but I really have to go pack pack pack some more. And shower and say bye to my friends and eat dinner and go to sleep...considering I have to wake up at 4am, YUCK! But thanks for reading, I will try to update AS MUCH AS I CAN. Please pass this link on to other who might be interested. I don't know what internet access will be like, but we will see.
THANKS FOR READING WISH ME LUCK ON THIS CRAAAAZZZY ADVENTURE I'M ABOUT TO JUMP INTO!!!!!!!
-Delia
Monday, February 7, 2011
at last...a placement
I have a family! And a school! I'VE BEEN PLACED!!!
I will be in a small town called Nata. It's in the province of Cocle in south central Panama. I have a host madre y padre (in their 60's I believe), a parakeet and a dog, and apparently plenty of grandchildren around during the school year and vacations/holidays (of all ages, I know one of the boys is my age). The family's last name is Perez, so just call me Delia Perez! Just kidding. I think my dad is tomato farmer and my mom is retired, and the best news? (well not the best, but good) The Perez's are willing to host someone who doesn't eat meat, so that means I won't have to TOTALLY give up my lifetime of vegetarian-ness! (although I promised myself I will try all the food I'm offered) I was getting really stressed out over the fact that I need to start working chicken into my diet, etc, but I'm letting that go, even if it's a good idea...
About my town, Nata! Nata is the oldest town in Panama, founded in 1522 (that's more than 300 years older than Wisconsin!). It also has the oldest church in the North America! The church is used on a daily basis- my family attends services there every Sunday. I believe the town itself has about 6,000 people in it, but my family said the community is about 12,000 people. Nata is also really close to the beach, which is GOOD NEWS! Panama City is about 100 miles away, and the closest big city is Penonomé. That's about all I know about Nata and my family, now for how things are going here...
^This is the province Nata is in, Cocle
15 DAYS TIL DEPARTURE. AHHHHHH!!!! I'm getting really really excited. Before I heard about my placement I was super nervous, but a lot of that has gone away, for now at least. Pre-departure orientation was a week ago, so I met 3 other students from Wisconsin (mainly Madison) going to Chile, Paraguay, and China and got a lot of questions answered, which was really good. I got all my shots taken care of several weeks ago and all my paperwork in order to get my visa ONCE I GET TO PANAMA is almost done. I'm going to try to start packing today, I've already set aside most of my summer clothes. Last week I made my way out to Massachusetts and Vermont to look at some colleges since I won't be here for most of the summer when my friends are doing their visits. It was good to get out of Madison one last time before the BIG TRIP.
I can't believe I only have two weekends left. There's so much I still want and need to do before I leave. School is really a joke right now...I have late start and early release and it doesn't really matter if I do homework or not since my classes are being dropped in two weeks no matter what, so it's pretty much a bore. It's good to be able to see my friends every day though, I need to make the most of that! Hanna, our german exchange student, has been with us for a couple weeks now and it's going well. She's sleeping on my floor currently and will take over my room when I head out.
Can you find Cocle in a map of Panama?
That's all I can think of for now...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOLLOWING ALONG!! It really means a lot. Please follow, and posts comments or email me with questions/comments/whatever. Also share with others who may be interested. Oh yeah, one more thing, I don't know if the Perez family has internet in their home. I did find my school on facebook though so I know I will be able to find internet SOMEWHERE in the town. So hopefully I will be able to update my blog on occasion. Okay, that's all for now!
Delia
I will be in a small town called Nata. It's in the province of Cocle in south central Panama. I have a host madre y padre (in their 60's I believe), a parakeet and a dog, and apparently plenty of grandchildren around during the school year and vacations/holidays (of all ages, I know one of the boys is my age). The family's last name is Perez, so just call me Delia Perez! Just kidding. I think my dad is tomato farmer and my mom is retired, and the best news? (well not the best, but good) The Perez's are willing to host someone who doesn't eat meat, so that means I won't have to TOTALLY give up my lifetime of vegetarian-ness! (although I promised myself I will try all the food I'm offered) I was getting really stressed out over the fact that I need to start working chicken into my diet, etc, but I'm letting that go, even if it's a good idea...
^This is the province Nata is in, Cocle
15 DAYS TIL DEPARTURE. AHHHHHH!!!! I'm getting really really excited. Before I heard about my placement I was super nervous, but a lot of that has gone away, for now at least. Pre-departure orientation was a week ago, so I met 3 other students from Wisconsin (mainly Madison) going to Chile, Paraguay, and China and got a lot of questions answered, which was really good. I got all my shots taken care of several weeks ago and all my paperwork in order to get my visa ONCE I GET TO PANAMA is almost done. I'm going to try to start packing today, I've already set aside most of my summer clothes. Last week I made my way out to Massachusetts and Vermont to look at some colleges since I won't be here for most of the summer when my friends are doing their visits. It was good to get out of Madison one last time before the BIG TRIP.
I can't believe I only have two weekends left. There's so much I still want and need to do before I leave. School is really a joke right now...I have late start and early release and it doesn't really matter if I do homework or not since my classes are being dropped in two weeks no matter what, so it's pretty much a bore. It's good to be able to see my friends every day though, I need to make the most of that! Hanna, our german exchange student, has been with us for a couple weeks now and it's going well. She's sleeping on my floor currently and will take over my room when I head out.
That's all I can think of for now...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING AND FOLLOWING ALONG!! It really means a lot. Please follow, and posts comments or email me with questions/comments/whatever. Also share with others who may be interested. Oh yeah, one more thing, I don't know if the Perez family has internet in their home. I did find my school on facebook though so I know I will be able to find internet SOMEWHERE in the town. So hopefully I will be able to update my blog on occasion. Okay, that's all for now!
Delia
Monday, January 3, 2011
closer and closer
As February 23rd gets closer and closer, I feel as if my life is getting crazier and crazier. Right before Christmas, my parents pulled me aside to tell me that they had payed off the rest of my tuition to go to Panama. I was speechless for a moment, I just thought WOW. This is happening and it's coming up faster than I can keep track of.
After a much needed winter break, school got underway again today. There's three weeks left until finals are done thus wrapping up first semester, thus wrapping up my legitimate schooling for the year. Between the time that second semester starts and I leave, I will continue to attend school, though since it is only for four weeks I will not be there long enough to be marked for any grading period (meaning whatever grades I receive in my classes won't count for anything). For those four weeks, I have an easier class schedule than I do this semester and incorporated into it is an hour of TA'ing for a lower level spanish class, which I am hoping will help to improve my spanish skills. Also since I will be missing most of my summer due to my exchange, I am going to try to squeeze in several college visits (around the country) during this four week time frame. So lots of traveling is coming up soon! I just have to get myself through these three weeks, which will be tough but I think I can do it.
One more significant thing that occurs in 3 weeks is that I'm getting sister! Well, in some sense. Let me explain. Hanna is a sophomore at my school from Germany and she is here for the year. She is currently being hosted by my friend's family, but she needed a new home at the semester so my family decided to host her! It only works because I will be leaving after a month, but we will share a room up until them and I'm so excited to have a sister at last... I've grown up being sandwiched between two brothers, and Hanna and I have become good friends over the last several months so I think it's going to be a rather good fit.
Back to my exchange, I am still waiting eagerly to find out about a family. I check online just about everyday hoping for some news, but still nothing. It will come within time I know. My mom has been very into getting me endless amounts of Panama literature (books, maps, articles) and spanish cd's for me to stay on top of my spanish (which by the way is very mediocre) and Panamanian facts. My pre-departure orientation is at the end of the month so I know I will learn even more then, including meeting other kids from the area who will be going in the spring like me.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
Delia
After a much needed winter break, school got underway again today. There's three weeks left until finals are done thus wrapping up first semester, thus wrapping up my legitimate schooling for the year. Between the time that second semester starts and I leave, I will continue to attend school, though since it is only for four weeks I will not be there long enough to be marked for any grading period (meaning whatever grades I receive in my classes won't count for anything). For those four weeks, I have an easier class schedule than I do this semester and incorporated into it is an hour of TA'ing for a lower level spanish class, which I am hoping will help to improve my spanish skills. Also since I will be missing most of my summer due to my exchange, I am going to try to squeeze in several college visits (around the country) during this four week time frame. So lots of traveling is coming up soon! I just have to get myself through these three weeks, which will be tough but I think I can do it.
One more significant thing that occurs in 3 weeks is that I'm getting sister! Well, in some sense. Let me explain. Hanna is a sophomore at my school from Germany and she is here for the year. She is currently being hosted by my friend's family, but she needed a new home at the semester so my family decided to host her! It only works because I will be leaving after a month, but we will share a room up until them and I'm so excited to have a sister at last... I've grown up being sandwiched between two brothers, and Hanna and I have become good friends over the last several months so I think it's going to be a rather good fit.
Back to my exchange, I am still waiting eagerly to find out about a family. I check online just about everyday hoping for some news, but still nothing. It will come within time I know. My mom has been very into getting me endless amounts of Panama literature (books, maps, articles) and spanish cd's for me to stay on top of my spanish (which by the way is very mediocre) and Panamanian facts. My pre-departure orientation is at the end of the month so I know I will learn even more then, including meeting other kids from the area who will be going in the spring like me.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading!
Delia
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
dates
The day before yesterday (December 20th) I got an email from AFS with some, if I do say so myself, rather significant information. That would be the dates of my exchange. It is official: I leave Wisconsin February 23rd (my half birthday!) and the country February 24th. I don't return until August 11th! That is a much later return date than I was thinking--just shows that I need to not have too many expectations!
This whole thing is starting to feel more real by the day. In two months and one day I will be on my way out of my old life and into a new one. This is what I want, right? In the coming weeks and months I suppose I will find out the answer to that question as I prepare for and jump into this experience.
This whole thing is starting to feel more real by the day. In two months and one day I will be on my way out of my old life and into a new one. This is what I want, right? In the coming weeks and months I suppose I will find out the answer to that question as I prepare for and jump into this experience.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
contemplations
Although it may be hard to believe as I attempt to make it through each sluggish day of school, time is definitely flying by faster than I think. Not only is it December already (how did that happen?!) but it has been more than a month since I got accepted into the AFS-Panama program. Regardless that I do not know my exact date of departure yet (it will be sometime towards the end of February), my remaining days in Madison are certainly numbered.
I don't think the fact that I will be living in a very different world in less than three months has hit me yet, at least not fully. I got a huge handbook in the mail last week which talks about everything you'd ever want to know about going abroad with AFS. That started making things feel more real, but I don't think the reality will hit me more full-on until February gets closer and things such as getting placed with a family and pre-departure orientation occur.
I will update as more information comes my way.
I don't think the fact that I will be living in a very different world in less than three months has hit me yet, at least not fully. I got a huge handbook in the mail last week which talks about everything you'd ever want to know about going abroad with AFS. That started making things feel more real, but I don't think the reality will hit me more full-on until February gets closer and things such as getting placed with a family and pre-departure orientation occur.
I will update as more information comes my way.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
the beginning
For the past two years I have been thinking, dreaming, wanting, and working with AFS Intercultural Programs on doing a foreign exchange to Panama the spring semester of my junior year (next semester). This summer I spent hours writing essays, filling out forms, and completing interviews in order to get my application in on time in the fall. A little over a month ago, I submitted my application. Yesterday, I got an email from AFS-USA telling me that they had accepted me and had sent my application off to AFS-Panama. They told me it could take up to 6 weeks for Panama to get back to me about my status. Today, one day later, AFS-Panama emailed me with acceptance from them. I can't remember the last time I've had so many feelings hit me at once.....I am overjoyed, anxious, and yet all of this feels so unreal. I still need to be placed with a host family, which I may not find out until only a month before I leave, but I am scheduled to leave in less than four months.
I am so excited for this journey to begin.
I am so excited for this journey to begin.
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